Wednesday, 31 October 2012

GUEST BLOG: A Daddy's Perspective

So Tim asked me today if he could write a piece on the blog, to give a Daddy's take on things.

So here it is.

A Daddy’s perspective
It’s an interesting place to be in, to be reading a blog about your own Son.  The last year has been such a rollercoaster ride for this little family and to have the trip available to muse over in a blog has been invaluable to me personally. It is easy to forget how far we’ve come and miss the small stuff. But having the blog gives me time to reflect on the journey we have begun. A time to stop and smell the flowers if you like.
I wish I could paint a picture with words the way that Gem does. Gems blog has the ability to transport you right into the heart of our family, quite often I have been moved to tears or laughed out loud at something funny River has done and Gem has recaptured here for everyone to share with us. I think my blog entry will be clumsy and not as well put together as my gorgeous fiancĂ©e. So please forgive me if this entry isn’t up to the usual standard!
I came across this article this morning and it moved me more than I imagined it could.

I can just imagine River in this situation or others similar, wanting all the sweets because he would need to separate them into piles and want to know the different colours.  To others he would seem greedy, slow, backward or selfish, but we all know different because we all have taken the time to know River. To be honest this breaks my heart, I hate the thought of River being misunderstood at a first glance. I want everyone to see and appreciate how amazing he really is and to tell him so. Through knowing him I can tell that he is going to be such a sensitive soul. Gem and I will be standing with him for as long as we can but it is a worry that we might not always be there, and then who will? Who will be able to tell the world what an outstanding individual he is if we aren’t able to? Who will be able to take the time to get to know him when the world is so fast paced and busy and people all too frequently need to fit into slots that others dictate?
I work office hours during the week, River sleeps well so I don’t get to see him in the morning although he is often chatting and giggling to himself by the time I set off. (I would love to know what he’s thinking about at these times). By the time I get home in the evening, River is usually motoring up and down the living room at 100mph, there will be balloons, balls, picture cards and books scattered everywhere, different piles of similar toys will be stored under cushions. Normally in one of the chairs will be a family of ducks, in another will be a pile of spoons, another favourite at the moment is disposable cameras. Once River has found one of his toys he will set himself a personal mission to find the rest of the set. River will notice my arrival at some point and if I’m lucky he might be able to pause for a second to acknowledge me being there before whizzing off again with a shout and a puff of smoke. Gem and I were comparing him to the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character the other day, I’m sure you can see why.
The weekends are our time to play together as a family. It mainly used to involve considerable amounts of time at the motorway bridge watching the traffic go by; another favourite would be simply watching cars parking in a car park. But as time passes River is noticing more of the world around him. Earlier this week we took him to a garden centre to look at the brightly coloured fish. What captured his attention more than anything this visit was a guinea pig. It doesn’t sound much but trust me this is massive, a few months ago he wouldn’t even have noticed an animal if you put him nose to nose with one.
 To me this is what it’s all about; it’s savouring every small step on the journey, remembering and recording it in a blog for ourselves and for our friends and family to share. The path we’re walking on might have a different destination but that doesn’t mean it has to be any less pretty. We share this blog because we want to share River with you. We want the world to learn how blessed we are that we’re his parents and how much richer our world is when we get to amble it at an albeit slower pace with a boy named River.


  1. Hi Tim, I often read Gem's blog and it has been a really great insight into your lives with River, the struggles you have all overcome, and still do on a daily basis, and the wonderful triumphs along the way. Your words emit a glowing pride about your little family, and the closeness and absolute love that you all have for one another really comes through in yours and Gem's writing. River is obviously a joy to your lives, and he is a lucky little man to be surrounded by so much love. Thank you for contributing to the blog, and I will look forward to reading other posts from you in future maybe?...

  2. That was a lovely read. I'm just starting my journey with my little boy and reading your words made me think of just how I want everyone to know what a beautiful, unique soul my son is too. I've read Gem's blogs too and I think you're a really inspirational family. Life is difficult with our little stars but its really good to focus on the positives :)

  3. What a lovely blog thank you for sharing your perspective on your journey Tim.